“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgement, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of – you’re not alone”
Brenè Brown
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Connecting with people
Upon perusing our SlightlySkew website (www.slightlyskew.com), a dear friend posed a profound question, probing the distinction between empathy and sympathy, striking at the heart of our core value: empathy. In the selection of our guiding principles, such a query had not been foreseen. Our decision to embrace empathy as a cornerstone was profoundly shaped by the wisdom of Chris Voss, esteemed former international FBI hostage negotiator and co-founder of the Black Swan Group. His bestselling book, “Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It,” illuminated the paramount importance of empathising with the emotions and perspectives of our counterparts to navigate negotiations effectively.
Voss’s methodology (Tactical EmpathyÔ) underscores the art of active listening, the validation of others’ emotions and needs, and leveraging this comprehension to craft outcomes that honour the interests of all parties involved. Through the demonstration of empathy and understanding, negotiators create bonds of trust, alleviate tension, and cultivate the fertile ground for mutually beneficial agreements to flourish.
Today, it is an undeniable truth that life itself is a negotiation. Even the seemingly mundane task of persuading an eight-year-old into bed punctuates this reality—a stark contrast to the authoritarian approach of my own childhood in the 1950s, where obedience was non-negotiable and disobedience was met with swift reprimand. Jack Ma, the esteemed entrepreneur and philanthropist, co-founder of the Alibaba Group, commends the virtues of empathy, compassion, and emotional intelligence alongside traditional markers of success like education and physical heroism.
In our modern landscape, fostering genuine connections on an emotional plane poses a formidable challenge, as we grapple with the necessity to cultivate what Brené Brown terms “emotional literacy.” Brown’s insights illustrate empathy as the conduit through which we comprehend and resonate with the emotions of others. Distinguishing it from sympathy, she underscores that empathy transcends mere pity or concern, necessitating a deep, non-judgmental acknowledgment of others’ feelings, free from the impulse to “fix” their struggles.
Brown articulates four pillars of empathy: perspective-taking, refraining from judgment, discerning emotions in others, and communicating this understanding authentically. As we delve into understanding the nuances between empathy and sympathy, it becomes evident that our journey at SlightlySkew is but in its infancy, a realisation that beckons us to embrace the humility of continuous learning and growth in our pursuit of true empathy.
Isn’t empathy the cornerstone of all great leadership? At SlightlySkew, our first pillar, “Fuelling Business Vitality,” speaks to nurturing this principle within your organisation. When empathy is practiced and perfected among your team, it naturally extends to how your customers are treated. This not only fuels what we call “Create Market Magnetism” by deeply understanding your audience’s needs and wants, but it also fosters loyalty—people return because of how they felt in every interaction. More than a great product or service, the human connection drives repeat business. Ready to cultivate this in your business? Contact us today.
